You’ve been trained to see gaps.
What needs fixing. What could be better. Where you’re falling short.
This ability to quickly spot problems and solve them has driven your success.
But there’s a hidden cost to this pattern.
When your brain constantly scans for what’s missing, seeing what’s already working becomes harder. What you’ve already built. What you can be grateful for, right now.
Today, September 21st, is World Gratitude Day. While gratitude might sound like just another wellness trend, the research tells a different story.
Neuroscience shows that regular gratitude practices activate brain areas linked to dopamine and serotonin – literally rewiring your brain toward resilience, better decision-making, and sustained well-being.
For high-achievers, this directly impacts their sustainable performance.
Why Gratitude Feels Challenging
Many of my clients initially resist gratitude practices.
“I don’t want to become complacent,” they tell me. “If I appreciate what I have, won’t I lose my drive?”
This fear makes sense. You’ve likely been rewarded for your dissatisfaction – for always wanting more, pushing harder, reaching higher.
Research actually shows that people who regularly practice gratitude become more resilient, creative, and effective rather than complacent.
They also sleep better, experience less burnout, and maintain stronger relationships – all factors that enhance performance.
The misconception comes from confusing gratitude with settling. Gratitude means building from a foundation of appreciation rather than scarcity, while maintaining your standards and ambitions.
The Neuroscience of Appreciation
Your brain has what neuroscientists call a built-in negativity bias. It notices threats faster than opportunities – a survival advantage for our ancestors, but a liability in modern leadership.
A regular gratitude practice retrains your brain. Studies show it can:
- Reduce stress hormones like cortisol (Utah Health)
- Improve decision-making quality through enhanced patience and rationality (Park et al., 2021)
- Strengthen emotional regulation and resilience (UCLA Health)
- Activate brain regions linked to dopamine and serotonin, which support motivation and well-being (IE University)
Gratitude literally optimizes your brain for clarity and performance.
Beyond “Three Things I’m Grateful For”
Most gratitude practices stay surface-level: listing what you appreciate without deepening the experience.
The most transformative approach goes beyond simple lists. Here’s a practice I use with clients that creates lasting neural changes:
The 3×3 Gratitude Practice
Surface-level lists only skim the benefit. To create real neural change, you need emotional depth.
- Each evening, write down three things you’re grateful for.
- For each, add why it matters.
- Instead of: “I’m grateful for my team.”
- Try: “I’m grateful for my team because Sarah stepped in yesterday without being asked, reminding me I don’t have to carry everything alone.”
- Instead of: “I’m grateful for my team.”
- Pause for 10 seconds after each one and let yourself actually feel the appreciation.
This simple shift—from listing to feeling—rewires your brain for lasting impact (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).
Gratitude for Growth
High-achievers often limit gratitude to positive experiences. Some of the most powerful appreciation comes from challenges that helped you grow.. Ask yourself:
- What challenge recently stretched me in a valuable way?
- Which “failure” redirected me toward something better?
- What feedback, though tough, ultimately made me stronger?
When you can appreciate the lessons inside the struggle, resilience becomes second nature.
Integrating Gratitude into Your Leadership
Gratitude serves as both a personal practice and a leadership tool.
When you begin meetings by acknowledging what’s working before diving into problems, you create psychological safety that actually enhances problem-solving.
When you appreciate team members’ contributions specifically – not just “good job”, but “I appreciate how you handled that client concern with both firmness and empathy” – you reinforce the behaviors you want to see more of.
Research shows leaders who lean into gratitude tend to see noticeably higher engagement and performance – productivity, decision making, and team cohesion all improve.
This happens because appreciation meets a fundamental human need to feel seen and valued.
The Compound Effect of Daily Practice
Like any skill, gratitude gets stronger with consistent practice.
Start small: one genuine moment of appreciation each day. For example –
- Acknowledging the colleague who always responds quickly to your messages.
- Appreciating your own resilience in handling a challenging conversation.
- Noticing the way sunlight hits your workspace and brightens the place.
The goal involves developing the capacity to notice abundance alongside challenge, without forcing appreciation for everything.
Over time, this creates what psychologists call “trait gratitude” – a baseline tendency to see opportunities and resources rather than just obstacles and scarcity.
Your Invitation
Gratitude is quiet power. It changes what you see, what you believe is possible, and how you lead.
So tonight, try the 3×3 Practice. Write three things you’re grateful for, include why each matters, and pause long enough to feel it.
Then ask yourself:
What’s one achievement, one relationship, or one strength I haven’t fully appreciated yet?
Take a moment today to acknowledge it – and notice how your energy shifts when you do.
Because gratitude lies in how it changes what you see, what you believe is possible, and how you show up in the world.
